I don't think that I'm going crazy but something is very wrong.

Sleep is like an old friend, I miss him, I wish he was here and when he visits its all too brief. The only night I have actually slept since leaving hospital was the 12th of December, the day I went out in my wheelchair (only my second excursion, the first 100m down the very bumpy footpath) to my best mate's Birthday Lunch. It was so good that day to get out, to be amongst friends and to help celebrate my mate's birthday. Also I was fortunate enough to catch up with a very dear friend of mine I had not seen for over 5 years. She has spent most of the time since we last saw each other in a wheelchair and made me realise that life is livable on 4 wheels as long as you know all the tricks to getting around. She also made me appreciate that unlike her, in a few months I will be walking again.

I think I slept so well that night because finally stuff actually happened and I actually did something, whereas before and since the highlight of my day is hopping to and from the toilet (to get around the apartment I'm staying in I hop on my good leg). It is pretty hellish being so immobile. I'm a very active person and this inactivity is like a prison. Its confinement in my own body and its only the pain that comes when the day rolls on and I forget to take my medication that makes me aware that I'm still here.

My body has changed so much which isn't helping my state of mind. After being horrified by the depletion of my leg muscle under the MoonBoot that is this modern caste protecting my healing leg and ankle and being told its 'not that bad' by my mate I'm staying with, I hoped onto the scales and found I have wasted away by just over 10kgs. I haven't been this light for maybe 7 years so its a bit of a shock to the system. But hey, I just keep reminding myself it could be a lot worse.

Almost as bad as not being able to sleep is the fact i can not really concentrate to get anything of value done, like write the book on Dog Training that I have promised this past year. Or upgrade my websites as I have been meaning to for months.

I can keep complaining I know, or I can go get into that bed and start thanking my lucky stars Ive lost weight and haven't gained a massive gut - which is what I thought would happen laying around 24 hours a day. After all the infomercial on TV just then was selling Bras and this one the annoying over the top American saleswoman said of the AhhBra is like slipping on a little hug...Yes bed is the only option.