Isn't emotion a funny thing we have to deal with as humans. I mean, when we look on memory of being at a place and location of a destination or on a journey, we remember the feeling, we remember what it was like, how hot it was, how windy it was etc... but it is so much harder to look back and remember what it was like to be in a different emotional state, about when you were depressed or when you were overexcited, or even in love ... or desperate for love.

There was a time, probably stretching for most of my adult life, that all I wanted was someone else to share it with, when all I could think about was finding someone... imagining each day as if I wasn't alone and then when I wasn't, when I was in love and then lost it, there was an overwhelming sense of complete loss.

Quite a few months back I wrote several blogs regarding this predicament, both the sense of loss and also the achievement of self-fulfilment. Whilst I definitely felt at the time that I was happy alone, it did need time to set the truth in stone. As well, so many supportive comments, letters and e-mails from the great many people that read those blogs undoubtedly helped.

I am now in a place so secure in my own skin that my world so seems to be rapidly changing, I'm not sure if it has been an effect brought on by my new-found niche in the world as a dog rehabilitator and its subsequent effects on my own psyche, or if it's just the fact that time has passed since I clambered out of the hole of heartbreak into the sunshine of self-confidence, or maybe it's just growing older and wiser. Whatever it is it's bloody fantastic because you know what, I cannot for the life of me remember how bad things were back when I never understood when people were mystified about the causes of suicide or how you could be so severely depressed that you just didn't want to be around anyone at all.

I have always been a person that asks why, that seeks to understand any given situation from as many points of view and angles as is possible to achieve a comprehension that satisfies my curiosity. However, being so happy as a single guy I don't think warrants much thought, I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I love the absolute freedom that I have in my life right now, the freedom from the past, the freedom from expectation, the freedom from any shackles from anything, from anyone but my own self. Maybe a state I'm in is the self-awareness that the great modern day prophets like Deepak Chopra and Oprah make mention of.... that realisation of each person being the creator, the source of their own happiness.

Despite the ongoing drought, my decisions and planning have allowed, through a successful year on the farm and with this setup of my lifelong dream of direct to consumer sales channels for my farm products, an income that is helping to sustain my livelihood whilst I begin my many new projects.

I reckon that in light of the current meltdown of world financial markets I have made the right decisions in my life, the decisions not to invest in property or shares, to invest wholly in myself and my ideas because while I fail I succeed. The problem with property and the sharemarket is a person has no control of their investment, however, if you are the investment you could not be any more in control.

So this morning when I met my old friend Tim at our farmers market stall at Brisbane's Powerhouse Farmers Market, I could not be happier... as a content single man and as a guy who, when everyone said get into housing, I got into a farm, and when they said get into shares, I got into sheep. And as the morning market began to fill with Brisbane's early risers, I was overwhelmed by a sense of elation, a sense greater than that of being deeply in love or standing on a conquered mountain looking down the winding trail below.... I had the wind in my hair, the sun's might in my face and solid ground beneath me.